The one where I'm an idiot....

This is the story of the time that I was an idiot.  I know myself pretty well, and I know what I can and cannot do, what I should and should not do.  But sometimes I do the things I can't and shouldn't, usually because I'm caught up in the moment.  Because of this, I lost an entire day of my life, and 3 full pounds.  And even though I could pretend that it never happened at all and just "forget" to write about it, for my own health, for my own sake, I am going to tell the story of how I was a huge idiot.

Saturday night DH and I attended a wedding.  His mom was driving us, so I knew that it was possible that I would drink a little too much.  Early in the night I accidentally ate an onion (which I am allergic to) and was feeling so sick that I almost stopped drinking for the rest of the night.  Oh, how I should have done that.

You see, I have remarked on many occasions that when I accidentally eat an onion, one of the reactions is that my digestive system basically stops functioning.  I get severe indigestion and I will seriously still be tasting onion 3 or 4 days AFTER I ate the said onion.  It's like my body just can't process it.   The same can be said for times when I might have had a little too much to drink - my digestive system basically just shuts down.

So you would automatically assume that the best reaction would be to stop drinking, right?

Well apparently instead, I decided it was a better idea to try and drown the onion in light beer, and I did that heartily.  Other compounding factors probably included the fact that the dinner was a very small meal (especially when I consider how little I ate earlier in the day) and the fact that we went to a bar after the wedding festivities had ended.

But this story isn't really about Saturday night.  Nope, it's about Sunday morning and Sunday in general.  We got home around 3 a.m. and I knew I had had too much to drink.  I was sick, but I went to bed and thought that I would wake up feeling fine.  And actually, when I first woke up, I did feel pretty good.  I was in good spirits, asked DH to make me some toast, ate the toast, and was even cracking some jokes.  Then I tried to stand up, and I was immediately sick again.  After returning to bed from the bathroom I decided that it probably wasn't in my best interest to go to breakfast like we had originally planned.

So I stayed home and slept and rested.  When DH returned home I asked him to bring me some Kool-Aid.  I took a few sips and was immediately sick again.  We tried again with some fruit punch.  It was as if as soon as anything hit my stomach, it was immediately sent straight back up.

I was so frustrated.  I was so thirty and just wanted to drink something.  I knew I was incredibly dehydrated and wanted so badly to start the recovery process.  My mind was ready, but my body was not.

So DH went out and bought some ginger ale, thinking that would do the trick.  Down, and up again.  He also bought me some Rita's and though the ice felt great on my raw and ravaged throat, I still couldn't keep it down.  I was suffering from severe bouts of sweats and chills - really intense, dripping sweats followed by shivering and teeth chatting.  My body ached and I couldn't get warm any time I was experiencing one of these chills. 

By this time it was like, 6 p.m. and I was started to panic.  The whole scenario felt absurd.  I was afraid that I was going to get really sick if I couldn't start keeping fluids down, but the fluids made me really sick.  I wanted to drink something, I wanted to eat something, but my body was just refusing and nothing seemed to be working.  Should I go to the hospital? Was this something much much worse than a regular old hangover? (It definitely was, but I just wasn't sure what I needed to do....)

So after doing some internet research, DH decided to go out and buy some drug at Target that was supposed to help with vomiting (or "stomach distress" as the bottle called it.)  I was scared... I did NOT WANT to get sick again.  My throat couldn't handle it, my abs couldn't handle it, my head couldn't handle it.  As much as I wanted to be able to consume some fluids, by this point I was terrified.  I took 2 tablespoons of the medication (I think it was called Enfermol) and listened as my stomach rumbled in such loud and amazing ways that Murphy was cocking his head back and forth as if to ask, "Mommy, do you have another dog under that blanket?"  It actually sounded like growling.

I was worried and just laid there, very still, gauging my body's reaction to this new substance I was just put in it. I tried to doze off, but the noise of my own stomach kept me awake.  Fifteen minutes later DH came in and told me to take another spoonful.  I did, and the gurgling started up again.  But it also stayed down, which was a huge development.  Another 15 minutes passed and I was so parched that I decided to take a risk and try to drink some more ginger ale.  This time it stayed down.

I was thrilled but still cautious, taking very tiny sips. About an hour later I had some more Rita's and it tasted wonderful, although a little weird because my throat was so raw that my taste buds must have been messed up.  The final challenge was to stand up, since this is where I usually lose it if I'm going to.  I stood up and walked into the bathroom without having to run! Phew!

I moved very slowly for the rest of the night and didn't really have much more to eat or drink because I was afraid.  When I weighed myself Monday morning, I saw that I lost 3 whole pounds in the course of one day. Of course, 100% of that 3 pounds was probably from loss of fluids, and I hope that I gain it all back very quickly, because I don't deserve to lose 3 pounds for being such an idiot.

One of my co-workers suggested that perhaps it was food poisoning, commenting that it's odd for someone to get so sick for so long just from alcohol, but I'm not sure.  In many ways I feel like my hangovers are like my bee stings - every time it happens it gets worse and worse each time.  I also wonder if part of the reason this was so bad was because of that onion that I ate - I definitely think it was a factor, but I've never had such a horrible reaction to onions either.  I guess it's the compounding factor of combining them both?

The other surprise for me on Monday was that I discovered an enormous 2 inch long and 1 inch wide cut/bump on my back.  It was definitely a cut, but it was also so puffed up that it was like an enormous bruise or something.  It was hot and sore, and I have no idea how or when it happened, although my best guess is that I hit it on the corner of our bathroom vanity during one of my very regular visits there that day.  I will post a picture soon, I promise.

So what have I learned from this?  A lot, trust me.  I have long thought that binge drinking was stupid idea, especially for me.  I can never handle it, and I always suffer the next day.  Lately, since I've been exercising in the evening, I've cut out the vast majority of alcohol that used to be in my life.  Alcohol and exercising do not go good together.  And I felt great because of it.  For the past couple of weeks, I haven't even wanted to drink because I knew it would destroy my progress.  Apparently there was something about this wedding that just brought out the worst in me, and that's really too bad. 

I KNOW that I can have fun without alcohol - I do it all the time!  No one pressured me to drink, and although my dancing skills are much better when I have a few drinks in me, I could still pull it off with just one or two.  I just need to remember this the next time.  I got caught up in the moment, and while it's embarrassing as all hell to tell the world that I was so sick, I'm going to keep this post handy the next time I'm considering have more than 2 or 3 drinks (which I've decided should be my max) I will think back to those moments on Mother's Day 2010 when all I could think about was wishing that I could back in time and redo Saturday all over again.  I don't want to ever, EVER go through this again.... and hopefully I won't.

(Oh, AND, I need to be much more careful about checking foods for onions before I eat them...)


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