Although I talk a lot about the more annoying aspects of being pregnant - weight gain, back pain, etc. - my days are filled these moments where I feel so incredibly at peace and content it stops me in my tracks.

In the mornings when I first wake up - and I lay in bed for a long time while trying to fully wake up - I lay there is a half-conscious drowsiness until a little nudge or kick from my stomach brings me back to reality and reminds me that it's not just about me anymore.  In all honesty, when I first wake up in the morning I don't remember that I am pregnant.  It takes either a kick or that crazy feeling when I first stand up out of bed and all of the weight in my abdomen is taken by gravity and pulled downwards that I really, truly remember.

There's a tiny human inside me.

When I unexpectedly catch my reflection in a mirror or window I stop short.  I know it's me, but it's a new, altered form of me that I am not always consciously aware of.  In fact, there are many moments - even when I am actively rubbing or resting my hands on my stomach - that I'm not aware of the what I am doing or the fact that my body has changed in such drastic ways.  It's weird that after so many months, it's still a surprise to me so frequently.

I don't want to say that "pregnancy suits me" because that sounds so terribly cliched.  However, I have been thoughtful recently about how - for the most part - this pregnancy thing is relatively effortless for me (relatively speaking of course.)  It often takes aching feet, or a sharp pain in my back to remind me that I need to take it easy, rest more, and that there are simply some things I can't do anymore.  I don't have that overwhelming sense of being tired all the time that you hear about, and although I do sleep a lot, I would be kidding myself if I didn't admit that I slept that much before I was pregnant when I got the chance. 

I don't have crazy cravings, am not spontaneously over-emotional, and overall, my body is handling this incredibly well.  I know that I am incredibly lucky.

I read a lot of blogs (or at least I used to, I'm so behind these days...) and in some of them the women write about their struggles with infertility.  Some have been trying for years and years to get pregnant, and for us it only took 3 months.  I say this not to brag, but to acknowledge once again out loud that I get it - I am one of the lucky ones, and I shouldn't take that for granted.  So I like to take some moments to reflect and dwell and live in the moment, because even if I never get this opportunity again, I can remember how incredibly at peace and content and happy I was back when I was 30 years old, living in the suburban wilderness with my husband and dog, and giddily pregnant with my little boy.


Lynette said...

So happy for you Lisa! This made me smile!

Post a Comment