12-27-10 - I am way too sober for this

The holidays are quite possibly the worst time to find out that you're in the early weeks of pregnancy.  You're traveling, visiting family and everyone wants you to eat and drink with them.  The eating part is fine but with our families, drinking is an essential part of the holiday season.

I thought I would be off the hook for at least a few hours on Christmas but my family starting handing out the mimosas before noon!  I politely declined and got a look, but no questions.  Then we started exchanging gifts and one of the first things that I opened was a bottle of my favorite liquor - Hawaiian Blue Maui.  Mmm... totally my weakness and guilty pleasure.  I took that opportunity to thank my sister for the gift, but then announced that I wouldn't be able to drink it for awhile since I was pregnant.

Everyone was surprised (I think) and my mom seemed especially happy.  It was nice to get that out of the way.

Now we're at DH's mom's house, and the brother's and their significant others are all together.  The drinking has been stepped up a notch, and even with my sparkling grape juice I am waaaaay too sober for this.  There comes a point, when people are drinking and you are not, where the conversation suddenly takes a turn.  The drinkers suddenly can't stop talking and everything is funny but my reality remains the same, and I feel like they're idiots for laughing at such stupid stuff.  Is this how sober people feel all the time??? If so, I think I would start distancing myself from the drinkers pretty immediately.

So now I'm laying on our air mattress, starving, because no one told me that the pizza had arrived, and now it's gone.  I'm so sad and upset and angry that I don't want to eat anything - I just want to go to sleep and for this day to be over.  I hate that I seem like the moody pregnant girl, but this is seriously hard to deal with. I'm trying to read but the noise of raucous laughter and bottle clinking from the other side of my wall makes that impossible.

My reality has changed in such huge ways that I'm having a hard time dealing, and this night is the first where I am sad and almost resentful.  I know that feeling will go away and I know that this will get easier, but right now it's hard and I can't seem to hold back the tears....


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