Ok, Ladies (and guys!). Help me out!

So, I'm going to a wedding next wedding.  It's Dave's brother's wedding, where Dave is a co-best man.  I bought a dress for this event (ordered it online, non-returnable, will never do it again...) and it was too big.  So I paid more money to have it taken in and it's nearly too tight now (I'm hoping a week of running will fix that.)

Anyway, here is dress #1.

This was taken right after dinner (bad idea for an already tight dress), but can you see how it's sort of pulling above and below the bow?  It definitely feels tight there, although it's definitely manageable in an I'm-a-woman-and-will-always-sacrifice-comfort-for-fashion kind of way.

Most likely, I will wear the dress above.  Partly because I purchased it for this event, partly because I'm not sure where I'll ever wear it again anywhere else, and partly because the bridesmaids are wearing black and the bride did mention over the summer that she hoped not everyone would wear black.  I'm 99% sure she wouldn't care at all, but I would hate to create any extra stress. 

Which brings me to dress #2, which is black.  (Well, sort of....)

Dress #2 with a shrug

And without

Now, I really love this dress.  It's not too tight but it IS form fitting.  It feels sexy and fun and I just feel good when I'm wearing it.  Which is probably why I should not wear it to the wedding, right?  I mean, after all, I will definitely find other occasions to wear this dress.  For example, it would be a great New Year's Party dress! (We currently don't have any NYE's plans, hint, hint.)  Or, I could wear it to one of the other many weddings that we'll be going to the spring/summer where we would just be regular old guests and it wouldn't matter it the bridesmaids were wearing black or not. 

Dave - being a typical man - would not give an opinion.  I guess it's probably safer that way.

Soooo... here's where you come in.  Do you think I should just wear the brown dress?  Or is the black and white clearly much better?

And if I do wear the first dress, what color shoes should I wear?? Black? Or Brown?  The dress has both colors in it.  The first picture shows the brown shoes.  Here's a picture of that first dress with the black shoes.

What do you think? Does one color look better than the other?  Neither are clear winners to me, but after spending so much on the dress, I'm not willing to buy new shoes, so your opinion would be greatly appreciated!!!