I want an epidural in my FACE

The drama with my tooth continues, and it seems like it's going to be an on-going saga.  The past three days have been filled with unbearable pain.  My entire left jaw, both the top and bottom, ache constantly and throb with pain that is completely blinding at times.  Vicodin are no longer cutting it - I take them and feel crazy drugged and tired but still in too much pain to be able to fall asleep.

I've been so unbelievably unhappy.  I am in so much pain at work that all I can think about is going home.  Then when I get home, I sit in my car because I dread having to get out of the car to cook dinner.  Cooking dinner seems like more than a chore than ever before because I get no enjoyment out of eating.  It's painful and unsatisfying. 

I reached my breaking point today, when I was sitting in a training session and I realized that I wasn't paying attention because I was so distracted by the pain in my face.  I couldn't stop rubbing my jaw.  I wanted to rip my jaw off of my face.  I felt light-headed was waves of pain would wash over me and a couple of times I thought I might even faint.  During some waves of pain it shot into my shoulder and has even been causing ear-ache like pain in my ear.

So, despite my extreme reluctance to do so, I called my dentist.  When he asked why I hadn't called before, I responded, in a choked up voice full of anxiety, "Because I'm terrified. I have had four root canals. Novocaine has never worked on me during root canals.  I've blacked out from the pain in the past. They were horrible, horrible experiences and I don't want to go through it again." 

My anxiety and distress is beyond measurable.  I frequently feel sick to my stomach during the worse bouts of pain and headaches come and go - one even became a migraine at one point.  I am so incredibly cranky all the time that it is exhausting to pretend that I feel anything other than complete and utter misery.  I feel bad for my husband who has to put up with me when I'm home. (On a side note, his school was CLOSED today and he got to be HOME! I was so jealous.)  I feel bad for my employer, because I am definitely less productive since I am distracted by pain or drugs for the majority of the day.  I feel bad for me, because.. well, because this sucks!!!

Ha.

So here's where we stand with things:
- My dentist called in an antibiotic prescription that I started taking this evening; assuming that the pain is caused by an infection, this should hopefully start helping in a day or two
- I'm scheduled for a root canal on Wednesday of next week; by that point the antibiotics should have hopefully calmed down the infection (assuming there is one)
- My dentist promised me that - given my extreme concerns and fear - he would be extremely sensitive to making sure that I am pain-free before doing anything, and that if I feel any pain, he would stop and re-evaluate

The challenge now will be to get through the next week. Actually, let's just try to get through tonight... that seems like an enormous challenge at this particular moment. 

This post was definitely not very happy, so please enjoy the cuteness above.

(Oh, and regarding the title, that was a direct quote that I said this afternoon to my pregnant-due-any-minute-now co-worker while I was high on Vicodin.)