The diet "dirt" - Week 1

So, I've been debating all day as to whether or not I should post my weight and goal stats on this site. Going back and forth, back and forth.  Do I really want to post my weight? No, not really.  Not at all, actually.  It's SCARY admitting how much I weigh; it's so taboo in today's society.

But how else can I really explain the progress that I've made?  How else can I share with you AND hold myself accountable while attempting to write in vague terms that don't include numbers???
I think the simple answer is - I can't.

Plus, I have a lot of confidence that I'm going to be really successful! I mean, I KNOW that I can do this.  I've done it before - just last year in fact!  I only have me to blame for my recent gains (bad gains, not good ones) and thus I feel like hiding my weight because I'm embarrassed will only allow me to make more excuses.

So, I'm going to spill what I will refer to from here on out as my diet "dirt."
Here are my stats for week 1:

Starting weight: 154.4 (as of Monday, 8/24)
Current Weight: 153.8 (8/28)
Goal weight: 140
Weight lost: 0.6
Weight left to lose: 13.8

# of day on diet so far: 5
# of days that I exercised: 5
# of days that I stayed with my calories: 4 (yesterday was hard)

But overall, so far, so good!!!!


Ugh. That was hard. No criticism, please?
I know who some of you must be thinking. "Really? You only weight 153 and you're trying lose weight!? Don't be silly! You look great!"  But then there are the rest of you that are thinking, "WHAT!??! You weigh 153 pounds! Oh my god, I can't believe you weight that much, I never would have guessed."  Because those are the thoughts that are always going through my head.  In one sense, I know that 153 isn't severely overweight. I still fit into all of my size 10 clothes (although my 8's have been on the hanger for a few months) and I don't look terribly fat.  I know there are a lot of other people out there who have way more weight to lose than I do.  But, at the same time, I CAN'T BELIEVE that I weigh 153 pounds AGAIN.  I swore to myself when I last lost weight that I would NEVER allow myself to gain that weight back.  And then I just went and gained it back anyway.  I do NOT look my best 153 pounds.  MyFoodDiary says that the top end of my healthy, recommended weight is 137 (the range is 125-137.)  That's my ultimate goal, but when I weighed 140, I felt amazing and was perfectly happy with that.  So, I'm shooting for that for and we'll battle my recommended weight another day.

 Two nights ago I also took some "before" pictures last night, but I am not ready to share those just yet.  Suffice it to say that they're not exactly confidence boosters, BUT in a few weeks when I start seeing some positive improvements and change, I think I'll be ok with posting them!  So, you have that to look forward to (ummm... or not.)

So, thank you for reading this, for not being disgusted or shocked, and for supporting me over the next couple of months as I try to shake off this extra weight!  If anyone else is reading this and is also trying to lose weight, please feel free to post your stats and goals as a comment so that we can do this together, or let me know your blog link and we'll start our own little blogging community!